7 Tips for What to Do- When You Don't Know What to Say

Finding the right words to say, can be challenging, particularly in difficult situations. Sometimes it's not always easy to communicate effectively in matters of distress such a grieve, fiery trials, or unexpected tragedies. You may want to help...but might find timidness about saying the right things.

Here are 7 Tips for What to Do ,

When/If You Don't Know What to Say:

1. Search the Scriptures (Word of God). Proverbs 4:12 says the word is sharper than a two edge sword. What this simply means is, the word can penetrate us from the inside out! God's word can heal and transform not only ourselves but those who we speak the word of God to. Use the scriptures to find examples of what to say, or how to respond in difficult situations. For every problem life offers, there is a story about it in the bible.

2. Consider the Source Finding the right words to say also depends on who you are speaking to. Language is an endless tool when used properly. As a child, my mom would often say things to piss me off on PURPOSE. In my immaturity, I thought she was being cruel. However, she was really lighting a fire under my feet. She knew through frustration, I would become determined and push forward toward results! Babying, or appeasement, has never been conducive for me, but this approach does not work for everybody. There are all kinds of people who make the world go 'round. What may be helpful to one person, may be offensive to the next. How you speak to an infant is not the same way you would speak to an adult and vice versa. How you speak to a college graduate, might be different in how you speak to someone who cannot read or write. Think about the character, cultural background, personality and/or current circumstances of the person you are speaking to. Adjust your words accordingly.

3. Use Figurative Language For example when the bible says .."Judge a tree by its fruit..." This can be true both in the literal and figurative senses. This "tree" could refer to an actual tree OR can be used to describe a person, place or thing. Using expressive language in the place of actual words, adds clarity and can eliminate misconceptions.

4. Remain Positive- Sometimes when you don't know what to say keeping quiet might be best. Try using non verbal communication such as smiling, giving someone a hug, a pat on the back or simply sending an emoji... can mean volumes to someone who is going thru a difficult situation. The last thing people need is salt poured into an open wound.

5. Wear the Shoe- Pretend as if the "shoe" was on your foot. How would you want people to respond to you? Better yet, ask yourself this question: What things would you NOT want said or expressed during your times of uncertainty and despair?

6. Use a Dictionary or Thesaurus There are many online versions you can access right from your phone for FREE. Understanding the meaning of words, or using synonyms, is important when communicating so that you don't say something foolish that makes no sense. IF you honestly don't know what to say, this is the worse time to be grasping at straws making stuff up willy nilly. Don't be lazy with your speech.

7. Ask Questions When all else fails ask! Don't be shy about asking the person who you are speaking to, what they need from you. Do NOT assume. Asking questions demonstrates a level of empathy and respect. Questions will help to avoid awkward situations. The average person will answer you... even if they only express the need for privacy or solitude. Respect their wishes and say a prayer for them instead. Chances are they will open up and be more receptive to you going forward.

Words are important!! They create energy both positive and negative that lingers long after they are spoken. For me, I tend to remember what people SAY to me, longer than I remember about what they did for me, especilly during my times of strife. Were they helpful or hurtful with their words? Did they encourage me or put me down? Were they a trusted confidant, or did they gossip about my business? When someone is broken, a kind word has a lasting effect. It's like planting a seed that will grow into something beautiful ... or rot away.

Researching your own ❤️ and motives is a good place to start. If you don't BEGIN with SELF love, it will be impossible trying to express those sentiments to others. Encourage yourself. Practice speaking over your own life FIRST. Different situations will require different versions of YOU. Some seasons will require bold speech, others will require empathy & care. Some will demand silence and/or non verbal cues.

There will be times when no matter what we say, our words will not yield the desired results and that is ok. We're humans who are flawed by nature and all of us error every single day. Remember that life is a learning experience that we can build upon as we go. The bottom line: Our world is a cruel place. It is always better to TRY and be part of the solution. Otherwise you will only contribute to the problem.

Until Next Time

RDW

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