Decoding Adversity- How to Start Over and WIN!!!

Rosey Denise
Sep 7
5 min read

“When life gives you lemons, make pear juice and blow everyone's minds!"

^{Kung Fu Panda 4}

But what if you have no lemons…then what should you do? Most of us were raised to believe that hard work, education, and being a decent human being are the keys to having a life, a good life. For some of us, we will accomplish all of these things and more; and yet life...will still hit us upside the head!

Decoding How We Look at Adversity

I’ve had the privledge of substitute teaching in the public school system, I've engaged and mentored the youth and almost ALL of them look at failure or mistakes as a bad thing. Even some adults attempt to avoid hardship at all costs!! People are unlikely to be transparent about any mistakes or hiccup's they have made. In fact, it’s trendy to find pleasure in the pain of others. If you haven't already, take an observatory stroll down any social media stream or comment board, and you will see the negativity LOUD and STRONG.

But how does anyone learn anything without mistakes? It is not about harping on our mistakes, but taking a different approach in how we view and respond to adversity. Certain attributes like tenacity, resilience, courage, fortitude, self-esteem, maturity and so many others.... we acquire only after we go through the storm! In life, certain things must occur in order for others to fall into place. In other words, sometimes you can't go over it, you can't hide beneath it.... you have to get on with it!

How to Start Over and Win

Evaluate your responses- When things go wrong, which are you more likely to do:
A) Panic/Anxiety B) Avoidance C) Develop a Plan of Action.
Anxiety- is usually a fight or flight response. It comes when our emotions are heightened and we have a tendency to overreact. The first things you should ask yourself, when things don't go as planned is: AM I IN IMMEDIATE DANGER? More than likely, the ANSWER WILL BE NO. Now it's on you to calm YOURSELF down, to avoid responding negatively. KEY TIP: Try naming objects at random that you see in the area you are in. For example: Say "people", "cars", "children" "food" "birds flying" etc. These aren't magic spells, but naming items out-loud (or inside your head) helps you to re center on the present. If you are honest with yourself, you will likely discover that a lot of our concerns are over exaggerated.
Develop a Plan- One Step and One Day at a Time- Trust me, I overstand how overwhelming it can be when you are starting over from scratch. It's normal not having any idea of where to start, but this is a good thing because it provides a chance to reset the game board!

During my homelessness, there wasn't a door to walk through, so I had to create one, but there was just one tiny problem:
Not Knowing How to Make a Door!

The first thing I did was decide what I needed MOST and what things I COULD DO to help achieve my goals. The reality is, there isn't always anything you can do, but there are steps you can take to prepare. FOCUS on what you can control. This might be something small such as your mindset, your emotions, your health, or other positive things to give attention to. We must all prepare for success. For me, I started writing and saved most of my written wrok. Now, I can use those lived experiences to author and sell books! PRO TIP: Focusing on the challenge is not always helpful remedy. Try working on your gifts, and crafts because once you discover that you can accomplish something you didn't think you could do, it becomes contagious! Your self esteem sky rockets and then you have what it takes to tackle your plan(s) to rebuild!
Revisit Your Plan Everyday- Raise Your Ambition Level!! Everyone wants good things to happen, but most of us don't want to do the hard ugly work everyday. You can't build anything unless you are motivated and consistent. Ask any athlete; they didn't show up only once to play the game. Many of them practiced over and over and over again. Their plan of action is what ultimately lead to their success. READ your plan daily and take steps to build upon in. In example, let's say the only thing you can do right now, is change your mindset. Start everyday with a motivational chant, a scripture or writing in your journal. Sometimes you have to encourage yourself, especially when you are rock bottom. You cannot rely on others to do this part for you. SELF ESTEEM is how one feels about oneself. Once you feel more confident, your ambition will increase and then you can start on the next step of your plan.
Limit Social Media- Change Your Habits! If you are starting over from scratch, then you will need a new set of habits. This does not mean you have to entirely give up everything you did before, but the last thing anyone needs who is focused on rebuilding, are distractions. Instead of making decisions out of routine, make different decisions based upon your desired outcome. READ a book, join a support group or take a walk outdoors instead of doom scrolling. Embrace flexibility in how you THINK and your ACTIONS WILL LEAD TO SUCCESS.
Never Giver Up- Why Are You Afraid to Start Over?
A) FEAR of Change
B) Low Self-Esteem
C)Lack of Resources
When I was rebuilding my life I literally needed everything. At times I lacked basic motivation to continue. Giving up seemed like the easiest but you know the good thing about being at the bottom; there is nowhere to go but UP!

If you can get outside of your own head and focus on all the possibilities that challenges provide instead, then you will do whatever it takes to P.U.S.H. Success at any level is more about being patient and persistent. It's like starting a diet, or work out plan. Only there is no magic solution pill or easy button. Everyday you must be willing to meet the moment and be committed to trying over and over until you get it right. We miss 100% of the shots we do not attempt to take.
PRACTICE GRATITUDE- What Are You Grateful For?

It is easy to be overwhelmed by your need, but take a moment to reflect on what you already have. Start small- your health. your attitude. your smile. your voice. your creativity. your faith. your safety. your courage. your willingness... we ALL have something to be thankful for even if it seems like nothing at all. To whom much is given, much is required and this includes being thankful!