The Myth and legacy of the Strong Black Independent Woman

Understanding and Celebrating the BLACK Woman!

Half of the mess we hear, we repeat without giving any thought to the truth behind the words we say. Let's be honest; we all repeat comfortable expressions, sayings or traditions without having a full understanding of where it originated from. This includes the myth about the strong, independent, black woman. I have heard many, many times both men and women speak negatively about themselves or their women. They tend to associate nothing but negativity with those words, but do you know where this came from?

For Black History Month 2023, we will explore and correct some of these misconceptions. Let's embrace to understanding and celebrating BLACK women!

Before we can begin to understand the black women, there are a few words we must first define.

The Definition of Strength

Since when has the word strength become a bad word? For starters, this word is not limited to the physical; that is the first of many mistruths. When a woman is referred to as strong, the first thing we thing about is her physical abilities. This is disingenuous to the full on meaning of the word strength. Strength is defined as: The capacity to withstand great pressure.

While this could pertain to a persons physical capabilities, it can also refer to one's mental toughness, spiritual strength, and so many other things. Not following the crowd is form of strength. Setting standards for yourself ,is also a form of strength. Refusing to be mistreated, or standing up for those who are mistreated can also be characterized as a form of strength. There are other examples we could site here, but there is no grey area for the word. You are either strong or you are not. The opposite of the word strength is weak.

The Definition of Independence

Another word that has negative associations with it is independent. Some synonyms of the word independent are:

• self-sufficient

• impartial

• unattached

• separate

Again there is no grey area here, you are either independent or dependent. However, independence could also refer to several other areas of one's life. For example, one could be independent in one area but constrained in another. Headstrong is another synonym for the word independent, which might explain why it is often considered a negative trait of women. I have heard men reject a woman's independence, while some women would prefer to be a "kept" woman, dependent upon a spouse for help and comfort. This just illustrates our small level of thinking in terms of this word by assuming it relates only to wealth. Traditionally speaking, it makes sense why some draw this conclusion. The civil rights era is a perfect example of this. Many assume that the civil rights era was only about black people or other minorities but this is also a myth. The civil rights movement, was heavily instrumental in the independence of women. The civil rights bill made it illegal for employers and discriminate on the basis of sex. It made it legal for women to work, start businesses of their own, pursue higher education and work in corporate America. Before this, the expected role for women was wife, mother and in some cases teacher.

In some ways, I would love the opportunity to lay back and relax while someone else takes care of all my responsibilities, including the bills. But in this world, you have to pay the cost to be the boss! In other words there is a metaphorically price attached, when you are fully dependent on others. Not only financially, but also in other ways. Having the freedom to think for one self, and make decisions regarding the course of your life is also an invaluable form of independence that both women and men of all colors, tend to take for granted.

Check back next week, as we continue to address and correct some of the stereotypes surrounding blackness, strength and independence. Let us understand and celebrate black women and stop putting her down! Not just for Black History Month, but everyday we are blessed to see!

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